Andreas Skov Olsen, our subject for today's undesirable biography? Aye, born on the ominous date of the 29th of December in the cursed year of 1999, Olsen graced this world with his unRequested presence, straight out of Denmark. Wearing far too proud a number 7 on his back, the lad drags himself about football fields as a forward, with a dubious preference for the right wing. Mighty at 6ft 1in (1.87m) and a hair's breadth shy of 12 stone (75kg)– he's no frail number I'll grant him that.
Negotiating the murky waters of his market value seems an exercise in futility. Yet, our esteemed colleagues over at Transfermarkt have deemed it to hover around, get this, €10.00m (£8.5m). Could buy a haggis supper for all of Glasgow with that.
The lad fashioned his ball-kicking beginnings over at FC Nordsjaelland in Denmark about a decade ago, 2015 to be exact. His debut season sprung in 2017, where he graced the pitch thrice. A year later, his foot found the back of the net an impressive 19 times in 26 appearances. A raise in pay, no doubt.
The call from the Serie A came, and like a moth to flame, the bold Olsen buggered off to Bologna in Italy for roughly £5.4m. Three seasons with Bologna saw Skov Olsen on the pitch fairly regularly, all to net a buzzing three goals. His goal tally at Bologna was quite the drop off from his time back home. Perhaps the Italian sun didn't agree with him, or perhaps he missed the haggis and Irn Bru.
He entranced Club Brugge in Belgium with his blinding display of mediocrity, packing up his shin guards and heading over there for £6.3m in 2022. Four seasons were spent there, his goal tally finally lifting from the lowly one-goal-per-season of his Italian saga.
2025 saw him on the move again, this time for a hefty figure of £12m to the Bundesliga with Wolfsburg. A stint over in Germany sees him today, where he's managed a goal a season. Predictable, Olsen, if nothing else.
As of this year, our journeyman winger was loaned to none other than Rangers. He's sported his new jersey thrice, and found the back of the net once. Quite the goal-to-game ratio, I admit, though we'll see how long that lasts.
In between all the club hopping, he found time to make an international appearance or two for Denmark. Most notable was his solo starting role amid a sea of substitute appearances in the World Cup Qualifiers Europe 2024 - 2026 and the Nations League 2024 - 2025. Did he have a moment of fame in these games? Did he eck.
And there you have it. Andreas Skov Olsen, the forward journeyman who took the long road to end up in the Premiership. I am beyond ecstatic to see where his travels take him next. Truly.
