Let me introduce you to the enigma that is Finlay Robertson, a lad who somehow survived the rough and tumble of Scottish football with the grace of a ballet dancer navigating a minefield. Born on the 12th of November 2002, making him a sprightly 23-year-old, Robertson hails from Scotland. Standing at a rather unimpressive 5ft 7in (or 1.71m for those who prefer a more continental style of measurement), and weighing in at a steady 11st (or 70kg for metric folks), Robertson sports the number 10 jersey for Dundee.
In the world of professional football, figures matter, yet Robertson's current market value is a mere drop in the vast ocean of football finances. As per Transfermarkt, his value is estimated at about £255k - not exactly the stuff that dreams, or for that matter, transfer records, are made of.
In July 2017, our good lad, Robertson, joined Dundee in the Scottish Premiership as a trainee. This was not a journey of leaps and bounds, but a slow, steady rise to mediocrity with his match stats reading like an insomniac's dream. His debut season (2018-2019) saw him grace the pitch only once in league matches, a performance so electrifying it took him another three seasons to match it. By the 2025-2026 season, after a thrilling roller-coaster of underwhelming appearances, Robertson scaled new heights with a grand total of 20 first team appearances and, hold onto your hats, two goals. As you can guess, the local populace is barely able to contain their excitement.
For a brief moment of variety, Robertson took what presumably was a holiday to Cove Rangers in 2021, but returned to Dundee in 2022 after apparently deciding that the Premiership was indeed where his heart lay. His performances post-return have been a mirror image of his previous ones, with equally uninspiring statistics adorning his player profile once again.
The 2025-2026 season also celebrated his presence in a few knockout matches, courtesy of Dundee's participation in the League Cup and Scottish Cup, where his performances - true to form - added little to the ignominy that characterises his career thus far.
Still, one's got to spare a thought for the sport. If every footballer was a Messi or a Ronaldo, we'd hardly appreciate their genius, would we? So here's raising a pint to lads like Robertson; not every star can brightly shine, some are just there to fill the Scottish skyline.
