Picture this, if you will – Joshua McPake, born on the 31st of August 2001, playing at right wing for St Johnstone. The lad's a sprightly 6ft tall (or to Europeans, 1.83m), and a solid 11 stone (or, again for the airing of European pleasantries, 70kg). For some reason, he dons the number 24 jersey - perhaps he just fancies the two halves a game is divided into?
Young McPake's current market value is a cool £85k (according to the financiers at Transfermarkt), slightly less than the cost of the average semi-detached house north of the border. St Johnstone, the apparent cheapskates in this narrative, have him on a contract set to expire on 31st May 2026, presumably so they can negotiate his next contract down to the price of a slightly used Skoda.
McPake's football journey started in Rangers as a wee trainee back in July 2017. Seems he had an itch to travel, though, as he then embarked on a grand tour of Scotland and England, loaned out to Dundee, Greenock Morton, Harrogate Town, Morecambe, Tranmere Rovers, and – quite the finale this – Queen's Park.
At Queen's Park during the 2022 - 2023 season, McPake had a whip around the first team, appearing 27 times and slotting home a respectable three goals in league matches. Some might have seen this as 'potential'; others as 'maybe he should try his hand at rugby'.
Following his return to Rangers from Queen's Park in June 2023, he had an undisclosed transfer - the exciting details of which, have been cruelly withheld from us. When one door closes, another opens, often to a lower corridor, and by February 2024, McPake found himself at Stirling Albion.
In July 2024, moving on up from the lowly ranks of Stirling Albion, he joined St Johnstone. In the 2024 - 2025 season thus far, McPake has made eight first-team appearances for the Saints and has managed to net one goal. He's also been trotted out for a couple of starts in the League Cup 2024 - 2025. Something to write home about, I'm sure.
Sarcasm aside, there's perhaps something endearing in McPake's journeyman narrative - a story of a young forward chasing the football dream, punted from club to club, sometimes not even sure which end to boot the ball.
